Some Jokes to Share With You. :D Smile! It is the Weekend!!!

Ah Beng’s Honda

Ah Beng bought a Honda VTI recently and drove to Ah Lian’s place to show it to her.  So there Ah Beng was bragging the various functions of his new car to his girlfriend.

“This is ah, so fast even the Mata Chia cannot catch ah!”

“Ha! Really ah!!! Steady lah!” said Ah Lian.

“Some more hor, this is Automatic one, vely easy to drive!”

So Ah Lian said, “Let me try! I wan, I wan!”

So Ah Lian took the driver’s seat and shifted the gear and floored the accelerator.

The next moment, the car sped backwards and crashed into the lamp-post.

“Alamak! What u doing? U Siao Char Bo! U see lah! Wah Piang eh!” screamed Ah Beng.

“Solee, solee, pai sei lah! No lah, I tot hor, “R” for racing mah!”*
———————————————.——————————————————-

The Singaporean & the Titanic

The Titanic was sinking, and there weren’t enough lifeboats. So the captain had to persuade male passengers to jump into the icy waters to make room for women and children.

To the British he said. “You must act like gentlemen.” They jumped.

To the Americans he said, “You can be heroes.”  They complied.

To the Germans he said, “It’s the rule.” They obeyed.

To the Japanese he said,” It’s the consensus.” They obliged.

Then came the Singaporean and they just weren’t budging until he came up with the appeal: “Free life jackets for those who jumped.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ah Cheng Buey Ro Ti

Once upon a time, a group of Ah Bengs stepped into a lounge and wanted the DJ to play the song “Ah Cheng Buey Ro Ti” (In Hokkien means Ah Cheng buys bread).

The DJ told them that they only have English songs and told them to re-select another song. The Ah Bengs were very angry and kicked up a big fuss, claiming the DJ was insulting them. The manager had to intervene in order to calm them down. Finally, after long talk with Ah Bengs, the manager found out that Ah Bengs actually asking for the song “Unchained Melody” by the Righteous Brothers.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

G=???

One day, two Ah Lians got into a lift from the 20th storey and want to get down to the ground floor. As they looked at the dial, they could see the number 20 down to number 2.  It was then followed by a G.  As they not English-educated, they were puzzled and had no idea what does the letter G mean. Suddenly one of them exclaimed excitedly and hit G.

When they finally reached the ground floor, the other Ah Lian was so impressed and asked the first Ah Lian, “Wah low!!!, how you know one?”

The first Ah Lian reply smugly, “Easy lah.. G for Gero mah!”

———————————————————- 🙂 ———————————————————-

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s