Update: 25 Dec 2015, 11:15am GMT+8:00.
I sent a Christmas greeting to my Sister-in-law. It may sound very non-committal and all, but I was holding my breath and praying very hard that she will not give me a negative response. I am also fine if she does not respond at all. Well, to some of you, it may not be a big deal, but to me, to bury the hatchet with someone I no longer like, it is a big deal.
I want to find peace, make peace, and give peace before the year ends.
As the clock ticks closer to Christmas, I suddenly felt like texting my brother, seeking peace with him. It is not that I have a bad relationship with him. It is just that I suddenly felt a need to air some feelings. I have been seeing and hearing the message of Peace around me so frequent recently that it got me reflecting: life is really too short. One day one may be on an airplane flying to some where, and the next, gone forever, be it missing or crashed in the sea. Or walking across the road, and then be hit by a vehicle, resulting in death or permanent damage lying on the hospital bed.
Life is really too short for regrets, hatred, and grudges. As many sayings go – let bygones be bygones, live and let live. Be the bigger person should someone hurt me.
So, I threw the olive branch to him. He has not replied me but that is OK. I somehow knew he would not reply. Maybe because he does not know how to respond to me asking for forgiveness. We Chinese can be very stubborn and not prone to asking for forgiveness.
Then I went to send another text to my cousins and a group of friends whom I have been together since secondary school.
But there is just one person whom I cannot bring myself to offer the olive branch. My sister-in-law. I am not going to gossip here, but to help you understand a bit better is that she and my parents had stopped communicating since 7 years ago. Yes, it is that bad. I tried to text her, but I could not find the heart, the sincerity, to do so. To ask her for forgiveness but not having the heart for it, will just be empty words. Yes. I still feel bitter about what she did and said to my parents. I still cannot forgive her. What is more is that I am scared of her response to my text should I have offered her my peace. Thus, I am trying to sooth those old wounds by not picking at the scabs. Let sleeping dogs lie, as it is said. I really hope that time will ease all wounds.
I am trying hard to have peace and to give peace. It is very difficult to do so, especially when there are so many challenges around me.
“Love your neighbours as you love yourself.” -Mark 12:31
I am not perfect. I am not even trying to be. But I am going to be the best that I can be.
Peace. Shalom. Saalam. Pace.
It is Christmas now. May you be blessed with Peace, Joy, Love, and Hope.
Happy Christmas, and thank you for reading.